You do not determine your purpose, you discover it. I think this quote is so pertinent to what Refirement is all about. It is exciting to walk into your destiny. Discovering what it is that you want to do with the second half of your life can take time, some coaching and discussing this with those closest to you.

There is a review in this newsletter about a great book that I have read called Encore. This book certainly will help you on that journey. I would love nothing more than to duplicate what Marc Freedman is doing in the USA in this country. Finding work that matters in the second half of life is certainly a goal we should all strive for.

I had the privilege of being on a new magazine program on SABC 3 last week. The program is called Lunch Box and is on every day at 12h00. I was asked to talk about work and the over-50 market. I had many calls after the program. Sadly many of the calls were from people looking for work. They shared how they cannot get work. One of the greatest challenges for all of us is ensuring that we keep up-to-date on skills. This is the only way one can keep oneself marketable. One of my goals is to build these bridges so that we can stay marketable and also challenge the world of work to use our wisdom and skills. One of the calls was about teachers. Please read this note and respond or ask your teacher friends to get involved.

I have included an article this month for all Boomers and their partners. Here is my request on this one. Take your partner out on a special date or outing and spend time discussing this article. We need to value and cherish those closest to us and take the time to discuss these important issues.

I have added a new concept called Travel with a Purpose to the Refirement family. I will be leading this group in early 2009 to Thailand. If you would like to join me or want more information please contact me. I hope to do a few trips each year.

I am offering a special till the end of the year on my profile tools. These normally are R750 each. If you do both at the same time, the special price is R1200 (plus VAT). See below for more details. Doing these profiles will certainly be a first step in helping to discover your purpose. Have a great month.

Refirement eZine October 2008

Book Review

ENCORE by Marc Freedman

Marc Freedman is the founder and CEO of Civic Ventures.

Encore tells the story of other encore career pioneers who are not content, or affluent enough, to spend their next thirty years on a golf course. These men and women are moving beyond midlife careers yet refusing to phase out or fade away. They are searching for a calling in the second half of life, crafting a new phase of work that offers not only continued income but the promise of more meaning and the chance to do work that means something beyond themselves.

This is the book that helped me get excited about how we can duplicate this story in South Africa. I was inspired after reading this book to write the article on my website called “I have a Dream.” Read it again here.

This book is published by Public Affairs. Go to www.publicaffairsbooks.com for more details.

ISBN: 13 978-1-58648-483-5

 

You’re Retiring...So Now What?

You’ve been working and planning your entire life to achieve an ideal retirement lifestyle. How will you define your next life chapter? Whether you are looking towards retirement, already retired or think the word itself should be retired, The Retirement Options © program and Retirement Success Profile © will help you generate options for a successful and enriching retirement life.

Each profile tool is done on the internet in the comfort of your home. After you have completed this tool, you receive a detailed report plus a copy of Dr Richard Johnson’s ebook on The New Retirement.

The special is as follows: do both tools at the same time and pay only R1368.00. This includes the reports, ebook and a one-hour session with Lynda Smith. Should this appointment not be possible, face to face, I will use skype, email or the telephone to complete the transaction. Please contact me for more details: lynda [at] refirementnetwork [dot] com or 0824902822

The Diamond in your Relationship

The relationship between husband and wife is one of the most important relationships that you will ever have. In her book “Passages” Gail Sheehy likens this significant relationship to that of a diamond. I would like to try and describe this diamond to all Boomers so that you can attempt to plot what the diamond in your life looks like.

The beginning of a marriage is a dream come true for most couples. The picture may be one of sunshine, roses and dreams of how we will live our life together. The honeymoon can last long beyond the holiday. The Bible tells us that we become “one flesh”. It is easy for us to communicate and openly share our thoughts and feelings about life, challenges and dreams with each other during this stage. This is the point at which we begin to draw our diamond, very much at one starting point, together.

Then, life starts to happen around us. We will most likely both be building our prospective careers. The decision to have children will be on the radar. Then, your first child is born - one of the greatest blessings that any couple experience together. Once the joy and wonder of this little miracle have passed, reality hits us. We chase life, career, goals, friendships and our general pace of life is fast and busy during this stage. Other children follow. Career decisions and climbing the corporate ladder challenge and excite the journey. At times it may start to feel as if we are passing one another like ships in the night and never get the time to communicate. This is when each partner begins to draw the opposite sides of the diamond shape.

This stage continues for as long as our children are at home. How long this stage lasts is dependent upon how many children you have and the age difference between them. On average though, it is a period of between 20 and 25 years. Life is filled with family holidays, various school events and playing the happy couple in the corporate world. Your most important relationship however, is often put on hold due to stress and busy-ness. It is critical to make special time for the two of you to communicate and grow together during this stage. We need to make time for “date nights” and weekends away without children, friends and family. The woman wants to feel loved and cherished and the man needs to know that he is still the most important person in his partner’s life. At this point, the opposite sides of your diamond will be at the widest distance apart, unless you have continued to communicate strongly with each other and have regular time together.

The beginning of the Third Age in your life is when the children leave home. There are a lot of complex emotions going on in the minds of any couple at this stage, the most common being the “empty nest” syndrome. This is most likely to affect women who may not have re-entered the marketplace after the birth of her children. The man may be in high adrenaline mode and successful in the corporate world. The other side of the coin also can also present itself at this stage. The man may be retrenched or feel that there is no joy in the drudge of work on a daily basis. It is very common for couples at this point to battle to re-engage and discuss who they are and what they need. Most individuals need to spend time alone and then together to try and work out what all this means for the future. Sadly, at this stage, many feel it is time to part as they don’t seem to have anything left in common. This is the most important part of how the diamond will regain its shape. We all have choices and can make a concerted effort to try and communicate, work out the issues and learn to fall back in love with this person you have been sharing a house and life with for the past 25 years.

The Third Age should be one of the greatest stages of your life. You are with a person who shares a history and children with you. The responsibility of parenting is over. You now have the opportunity to spend quality time together with less financial strain. You have your best friend at your side and you can travel and experience new and exciting things together. This part of the diamond moving back to a point can be fun as you discuss your dreams and challenges. I hear many complain that these conversations don’t happen. The men want to withdraw from life, women want a new career, and there is no common ground. I want to challenge you that it is worth fighting for. Please spend the time trying to find that love and recommitting your life to one another. We are a generation that has had more divorce than any other generation. It must be so sad to part at this stage and not work at rediscovering the wonder and mystery of the person who wears your ring.

I hope that this article will stimulate conversation for you as a couple and that you will value the diamond in your life. May you have a long and interesting journey back to the point of your diamond.

Calling all Teachers in Gauteng

There is a new Christian school opening in East Rand area next year. This school will operate from grade 0 to grade 12.

The principal has requested that I find him retired, ex model C school teachers to help run his school. If you live in this part of Gauteng and are interested, please contact me directly on lgsmith [at] mweb [dot] co [dot] za and I will give you more details.

I hope to get more requests like this in the future and would like all teachers to list their details on my website. Go here to register: www.refirementnetwork.co.za/user/register

Please contact Lynda Smith on +27 (0) 82 490 2822 or lynda [at] refirementnetwork [dot] com for more details. Our web address is www.refirementnetwork.com

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